I went out with the tax attorney in February of this year. After our one uncomfortable meeting, we didn't have any additional contact... until yesterday, when I got this email:
From: xxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Match.com subscription rate
Date: July 26, 2008 8:12:05 AM PDT
To: xxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Hi [girl on the prowl].
I hope you're doing well. I was waiting for you to call since we met, but I take it things didn't work out. I understand, it happens.
Please do me a favor. Can you go to match.com's subscription rates and find out how much a one month's subscription is? I am currently in a dispute with them and they blocked my account. Thanks!
[tax attorney]
There are so many things wrong with this that I hardly know where to begin.
1. What the hell??? Sooooo random!!! It took me a while to even realize who this was.
2. "I was waiting for you to call since we met..." Ummm.. I made it pretty clear that I had no interest in him, so why would he wait for me to call??? Besides, why the hell would I call him??? If he was that interested he should've called me. I like to be pursued, I don't do the pursuing (especially of awkward tax attorneys)
3. Why couldn't he just go to the website to find out how much the subscription rates are?? Bizarre!
I think this just goes to show that I am a dud magnet. -_-
I know there are some doubters as the truthiness of my blog, but trust me its all fo' real. I couldn't even make this stuff up if I tried.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
wannabe fob
The only time I've ever had any fond feelings towards Starbucks (except for those emergency bathroom situations) involved an encounter with a wannabe fob. The guy was in his early 30s and Korean. He came to the states when he was super young (like so young he doesn't remember), and wasn't fluent in Korean. Despite this, he kept trying to speak to me in Korean.
So we agreed to meet at 8:00 at a Starbucks (strike one: Starbucks? Really??). I get there and he's already there reading Life of Pi. He has an ahjushi vibe (strike two) to him, but he reads, so I try to overlook it... We start talking and he starts to slip in Korean words here and there until eventually he is speaking (or at least trying to speak) more Korean than English (strike three). I don't indulge him, and only speak in English. I find the whole speaking in Korean thing extremely annoying. I'm trying to find someone worth dating, not a language partner.
So what did Starbucks do to make me eternally grateful? This particular location closed at 8:30!!! So we had been talking for about 15 minutes, when one of the angelic employees swings by to inform us that they will be closing in a few minutes! I take this as my cue, and sling my purse on my shoulder and stand up to leave. The wannabe fob following my lead also gets up. We head outside, and just to make it clear that this is the end of the evening and that we will not be finding another place to continue the conversation I ask, "So where'd you park?"
We head to his car, and I give him the customary, "It was nice to meet you, blah blah blah..." He asks if I want a ride home. I decline then start to walk home. About 5 minutes later, my phone rings.. it's him! Creeped out, I look around to make sure I'm not being followed. I'm not. So I send the call to voicemail. He leaves a message! I check the message. "Hi. This is [wannabe fob]. I just have a question I need to ask you." I'm creeped out, yet insanely curious. I HAVE to know what he wants to know. So I call him back. I know, I have issues.
me: Hi, I just got your message. What's up?
wannabe fob: I was just wondering... did I offend you in any way?
me: uhhh, not really...
wannabe fob: Ok, I just wasn't sure. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?
me [thinking to myself]: Hello no! I do not date fobby ahjushis!
me [what I actually say]: Oh, thanks but I don't think so.
Who does that? Who calls literally 5 minutes after a bad meeting (obviously it went badly if the other person practically runs out) and then asks for a date? I guess I am partly to blame. If I didn't call him back I wouldn't have given him the opportunity. Oh well, just call me Pandora.
So we agreed to meet at 8:00 at a Starbucks (strike one: Starbucks? Really??). I get there and he's already there reading Life of Pi. He has an ahjushi vibe (strike two) to him, but he reads, so I try to overlook it... We start talking and he starts to slip in Korean words here and there until eventually he is speaking (or at least trying to speak) more Korean than English (strike three). I don't indulge him, and only speak in English. I find the whole speaking in Korean thing extremely annoying. I'm trying to find someone worth dating, not a language partner.
So what did Starbucks do to make me eternally grateful? This particular location closed at 8:30!!! So we had been talking for about 15 minutes, when one of the angelic employees swings by to inform us that they will be closing in a few minutes! I take this as my cue, and sling my purse on my shoulder and stand up to leave. The wannabe fob following my lead also gets up. We head outside, and just to make it clear that this is the end of the evening and that we will not be finding another place to continue the conversation I ask, "So where'd you park?"
We head to his car, and I give him the customary, "It was nice to meet you, blah blah blah..." He asks if I want a ride home. I decline then start to walk home. About 5 minutes later, my phone rings.. it's him! Creeped out, I look around to make sure I'm not being followed. I'm not. So I send the call to voicemail. He leaves a message! I check the message. "Hi. This is [wannabe fob]. I just have a question I need to ask you." I'm creeped out, yet insanely curious. I HAVE to know what he wants to know. So I call him back. I know, I have issues.
me: Hi, I just got your message. What's up?
wannabe fob: I was just wondering... did I offend you in any way?
me: uhhh, not really...
wannabe fob: Ok, I just wasn't sure. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?
me [thinking to myself]: Hello no! I do not date fobby ahjushis!
me [what I actually say]: Oh, thanks but I don't think so.
Who does that? Who calls literally 5 minutes after a bad meeting (obviously it went badly if the other person practically runs out) and then asks for a date? I guess I am partly to blame. If I didn't call him back I wouldn't have given him the opportunity. Oh well, just call me Pandora.
Monday, June 30, 2008
stats
Apparently, many Asian-Americans aren't sticking to their own... maybe they have seen the light?
An excerpt from the NY Times:
According to a study using the latest Census Bureau figures, the percentage of Asian women born in the United States who marry Asian men has declined to 37 percent from 59 percent since 1994. The proportion of American-born Asian men who marry Asian women has also dropped, to 52 percent from 65 percent.
Looks like Asian women are getting less tolerant of socially awkward Asian men... myself included! Lately, I have been considering giving the white man a chance... not too sure, but it couldn't possibly get any worse, right?
The full article discusses summer youth programs for college-age kids to get in touch with their roots, but how it can also turn out to be a meat market. Hmmm... perhaps I should've gone to the Yonsei University program when I was younger...
An excerpt from the NY Times:
According to a study using the latest Census Bureau figures, the percentage of Asian women born in the United States who marry Asian men has declined to 37 percent from 59 percent since 1994. The proportion of American-born Asian men who marry Asian women has also dropped, to 52 percent from 65 percent.
Looks like Asian women are getting less tolerant of socially awkward Asian men... myself included! Lately, I have been considering giving the white man a chance... not too sure, but it couldn't possibly get any worse, right?
The full article discusses summer youth programs for college-age kids to get in touch with their roots, but how it can also turn out to be a meat market. Hmmm... perhaps I should've gone to the Yonsei University program when I was younger...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
34-year old frat boy
So another winner that I met via the internet was a 34-year old Korean guy who worked as a district manager for a luxury car company. He was nice enough, but there were a couple things that I couldn't get over:
1. The guy was still partying like it was 1999. We had been talking about things we like to do for fun, and he proceeded to tell me how he got completely obliterated, which normally is not a big deal to me since I like to party on occasion and have my share of stories of nights that ended up with me worshiping the porcelain god, but based on the stories he was telling, it seemed like this was a very regular occurrence. I'm don't think we talked about anything that somehow didn't end up with him being completely wasted. He was still living his frat boy days...
2. It took him 7 years to finish undergrad. UNDERGRAD. I know it can take some people more than the standard 4 years to finish college, but come on - SEVEN YEARS? People finish undergrad and get a graduate degree in the same amount of time. Apparently he was having a lot of fun in college and just couldn't get enough.
3. He decided to go to Cheesecake Factory. Originally we were going to meet at a local Italian joint, but it turned out they weren't open (it was a Sunday). I had suggested a few other local places, but he seemed really reluctant and pushed for Cheesecake Factory. -_- I am kind of obsessed with food, and am not a big fan of chain restaurants, so this was a bummer for me.
4. He actually said to me, "Oh, wow. You actually eat." Which lead me to believe that he typically didn't date girls who eat. And even if you think this in your head, why would you say it? The fact that he was surprised that I eat was a bit disturbing. Of course I eat! I am not the type to order a salad with dressing on the side and then just push it around my plate and pretend to eat. I heart food! I'm kind of obsessed with it and it is the longest relationship I've had. Oh sure, we've had our differences. I can't get enough, then put on weight, then curse it. I've tried to diet and stay away. But I can't help myself. I love it. I find comfort in it. It's a torrid love affair... but I digress...
On the up-side, I got to ride in a $150k car and play with all the fancy gadgets. I know, I'm such a kid... I guess the 34-year old frat boy isn't the only one who still hasn't grown up... :P
1. The guy was still partying like it was 1999. We had been talking about things we like to do for fun, and he proceeded to tell me how he got completely obliterated, which normally is not a big deal to me since I like to party on occasion and have my share of stories of nights that ended up with me worshiping the porcelain god, but based on the stories he was telling, it seemed like this was a very regular occurrence. I'm don't think we talked about anything that somehow didn't end up with him being completely wasted. He was still living his frat boy days...
2. It took him 7 years to finish undergrad. UNDERGRAD. I know it can take some people more than the standard 4 years to finish college, but come on - SEVEN YEARS? People finish undergrad and get a graduate degree in the same amount of time. Apparently he was having a lot of fun in college and just couldn't get enough.
3. He decided to go to Cheesecake Factory. Originally we were going to meet at a local Italian joint, but it turned out they weren't open (it was a Sunday). I had suggested a few other local places, but he seemed really reluctant and pushed for Cheesecake Factory. -_- I am kind of obsessed with food, and am not a big fan of chain restaurants, so this was a bummer for me.
4. He actually said to me, "Oh, wow. You actually eat." Which lead me to believe that he typically didn't date girls who eat. And even if you think this in your head, why would you say it? The fact that he was surprised that I eat was a bit disturbing. Of course I eat! I am not the type to order a salad with dressing on the side and then just push it around my plate and pretend to eat. I heart food! I'm kind of obsessed with it and it is the longest relationship I've had. Oh sure, we've had our differences. I can't get enough, then put on weight, then curse it. I've tried to diet and stay away. But I can't help myself. I love it. I find comfort in it. It's a torrid love affair... but I digress...
On the up-side, I got to ride in a $150k car and play with all the fancy gadgets. I know, I'm such a kid... I guess the 34-year old frat boy isn't the only one who still hasn't grown up... :P
Saturday, June 21, 2008
how i got in this predicatment in the first place...
I wasn't always alone, but I was a late bloomer. I never had boyfriends in high school. Oh sure, I had crushes, but I always kept a safe distance... to this day whenever I do crush on someone I'm so paranoid of being found out that unless I told you, you wouldn't even know that I knew the guy existed...
But when I got to college something miraculous happened. I started dating someone and soon enough found myself in my first (and only) relationship. It was exhilarating and at times, exhausting. Then almost 5 years later at the ripe age of 24 I had my heart broken and was completely devastated. I hadn't learned how to date or any of the rules because I had jumped into a relationship so quickly. Meeting guys was foreign to me.
Eventually, I was out on the field, but the bar and club scene just wasn't for me. After 18 months or so of reckless indiscretions I was benched by the dating gods. A cross-country move gave me a clean slate. New city, completely different culture, new start.... but same slump. Trying to find someone to date in LA was and is painful. I even resorted to bribing friends (pathetic, but true) and still came up with bumpkis. After almost a year and a half of being dateless, I gave in to the world of online dating. Three months and about a dozen guys later, I'm at the same place I started only more frustrated and dejected. Out of all those guys only one actually interested me enough to meet him more than once (but that didn't work out so well either).
So apparently, I'm in the midst of another drought. I've given up on the online thing and am not sure what my next course of action will be... maybe it's time to take a break from finding my soulmate (if he even exists). Besides, I do love cats so at least I have a backup plan...
But when I got to college something miraculous happened. I started dating someone and soon enough found myself in my first (and only) relationship. It was exhilarating and at times, exhausting. Then almost 5 years later at the ripe age of 24 I had my heart broken and was completely devastated. I hadn't learned how to date or any of the rules because I had jumped into a relationship so quickly. Meeting guys was foreign to me.
Eventually, I was out on the field, but the bar and club scene just wasn't for me. After 18 months or so of reckless indiscretions I was benched by the dating gods. A cross-country move gave me a clean slate. New city, completely different culture, new start.... but same slump. Trying to find someone to date in LA was and is painful. I even resorted to bribing friends (pathetic, but true) and still came up with bumpkis. After almost a year and a half of being dateless, I gave in to the world of online dating. Three months and about a dozen guys later, I'm at the same place I started only more frustrated and dejected. Out of all those guys only one actually interested me enough to meet him more than once (but that didn't work out so well either).
So apparently, I'm in the midst of another drought. I've given up on the online thing and am not sure what my next course of action will be... maybe it's time to take a break from finding my soulmate (if he even exists). Besides, I do love cats so at least I have a backup plan...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
why i'm reluctant to date non-asians
- Yellow-fever. Asian fetish.
Do you really need an explanation?
- I like what I like
While I am attracted to men of all races, I tend to be mostly attracted to Asian guys. I can't help it.
- I'm lazy
It is honestly just easier to date someone who gets where I come from. I do not have the gift or the patience to teach, so the idea of having to explain certain aspects of my culture just doesn't appeal to me. Besides the odds of finding someone who will put up with my stinky cooking are greater amongst Asians who are used to odorous food.
- I've been thoroughly brainwashed by my parental unit
Somehow my parents have instilled in me that I should be a dutiful daughter and in doing so I should seek out a Korean mate. I can remember them telling me this right before I started kindergarten... and it feels like they continued to tell me this every day since then... -_-
- Pity for the Asian man
Because quite honestly if Asian women don't date them, who will? Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but come on, let's be real...
This is not to say that I wouldn't go for a non-Asian guy. But he would have to be pretty stellar. And honestly, if a guy is that great he can probably do better than a pudgy Korean who blogs about her dating mishaps. Ha!
Do you really need an explanation?
- I like what I like
While I am attracted to men of all races, I tend to be mostly attracted to Asian guys. I can't help it.
- I'm lazy
It is honestly just easier to date someone who gets where I come from. I do not have the gift or the patience to teach, so the idea of having to explain certain aspects of my culture just doesn't appeal to me. Besides the odds of finding someone who will put up with my stinky cooking are greater amongst Asians who are used to odorous food.
- I've been thoroughly brainwashed by my parental unit
Somehow my parents have instilled in me that I should be a dutiful daughter and in doing so I should seek out a Korean mate. I can remember them telling me this right before I started kindergarten... and it feels like they continued to tell me this every day since then... -_-
- Pity for the Asian man
Because quite honestly if Asian women don't date them, who will? Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but come on, let's be real...
This is not to say that I wouldn't go for a non-Asian guy. But he would have to be pretty stellar. And honestly, if a guy is that great he can probably do better than a pudgy Korean who blogs about her dating mishaps. Ha!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
grabby guy
So I met up with this 38-year old restaurant consultant (even after an explanation I still had no idea what he actually did) after emailing and chit-chatting on the phone for about a week. He seemed pleasant enough, but that was probably because he was at a safe distance away...
We decide to meet up at a coffee shop. He was already there when I arrived and he stood up and stretched out his arms for a hug. I have been known to be a somewhat friendly person from time to time (but I try not to make it regular practice), so I go in for a friendly hug. As I start to lean out of it, his open hand grazes my ass. This was no quick drive-by my friends; there was definitely some lingering. I try to remain composed and shake it off. I tell myself, "Well I do have ghetto booty, some junk in the trunk, badonkadonk (pick your term of choice), so maybe he miscalculated and it was an innocent mistake..." But I know this was no accident. This was a premeditated ass graze.
For whatever reason (maybe shock?) I didn't acknowledge what had happened, so we sit down and talk for a little bit. After my customary 45-minutes to an hour, I wrap things up. The guy is a bit on the cocky side and a bit of a know-it-all, which is something I don't care for, so I see no need to spend more time with him than absolutely necessary. We proceed to walk to my car. It turns out that though I'm parked in a well lit area, all of the other cars had already left, so we are alone.
I thank him for the coffee and for meeting me when he suddenly gives me another hug (I never knew I came off as such a huggable person). I start to peel myself out of this awkward embrace when he starts leaning in for a kiss! Luckily, I see it coming, turn away and manage to break free (I'm not a prude. If I liked the guy, I may have gone for it). But the guy is still undeterred!
grabby guy: So can I take you out to dinner sometime?
me: I don't think so.
grabby guy: Really? Why not?
me: I just don't think its a good idea... you're kinda sleazy
grabby guy: Oh come on...
me: I gotta go.
Grabby guy has been the most persistent guy I've ever dealt with. He called me that same night, but I didn't answer. He then continued to call or text for about the next week or so until he finally got the hint that I was not going to respond.
Maybe he thought he was being slick and could take advantage of me because he was an older guy. Perhaps he thought that my lack of reaction to him copping a cheap feel was a green light. I'll never understand what gave grabby guy the impression that it would be ok for him to swoop in for a smooch or to keep calling me.
We decide to meet up at a coffee shop. He was already there when I arrived and he stood up and stretched out his arms for a hug. I have been known to be a somewhat friendly person from time to time (but I try not to make it regular practice), so I go in for a friendly hug. As I start to lean out of it, his open hand grazes my ass. This was no quick drive-by my friends; there was definitely some lingering. I try to remain composed and shake it off. I tell myself, "Well I do have ghetto booty, some junk in the trunk, badonkadonk (pick your term of choice), so maybe he miscalculated and it was an innocent mistake..." But I know this was no accident. This was a premeditated ass graze.
For whatever reason (maybe shock?) I didn't acknowledge what had happened, so we sit down and talk for a little bit. After my customary 45-minutes to an hour, I wrap things up. The guy is a bit on the cocky side and a bit of a know-it-all, which is something I don't care for, so I see no need to spend more time with him than absolutely necessary. We proceed to walk to my car. It turns out that though I'm parked in a well lit area, all of the other cars had already left, so we are alone.
I thank him for the coffee and for meeting me when he suddenly gives me another hug (I never knew I came off as such a huggable person). I start to peel myself out of this awkward embrace when he starts leaning in for a kiss! Luckily, I see it coming, turn away and manage to break free (I'm not a prude. If I liked the guy, I may have gone for it). But the guy is still undeterred!
grabby guy: So can I take you out to dinner sometime?
me: I don't think so.
grabby guy: Really? Why not?
me: I just don't think its a good idea... you're kinda sleazy
grabby guy: Oh come on...
me: I gotta go.
Grabby guy has been the most persistent guy I've ever dealt with. He called me that same night, but I didn't answer. He then continued to call or text for about the next week or so until he finally got the hint that I was not going to respond.
Maybe he thought he was being slick and could take advantage of me because he was an older guy. Perhaps he thought that my lack of reaction to him copping a cheap feel was a green light. I'll never understand what gave grabby guy the impression that it would be ok for him to swoop in for a smooch or to keep calling me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
